We had our accountability training today, which involved constantly pairing or grouping up with new people we don’t know. It was more exhausting/ more work than most of my actual work days.

This is the question our pastor asked us today, Egypt representing difficult circumstances that are not your fault, not under your control.

I have a hard time coming up with a major difficulty or obstacle in my life that isn’t, more or less, my fault. I haven’t really been afflicted with or by anything but my own choices.

Perhaps that’s something for me to be more thankful for.

The company I work for is having everyone in my department (and maybe, eventually, everyone) take accountability training, based on The Oz Principle by Roger Connors, Tom Smith, and Craig Hickman.

I’ve always thought of the concept of accountability as a moral imperative, a crucial component of integrity, so it’ll be interesting to look at it more as a strategy for success, something that leads to positive outcomes in a business setting. Not that I don’t generally expect the “right” thing to do to coincide – in the long view – with success, because I kinda do… which just made me think of a song, “Spread a Little Sunshine” from Pippin:

God’s wisdom teaches me when I help others, I’m really helping myself

Anyway, since my teen years I’ve trying to hold myself accountable for my choices, with mixed success. I sometimes catch myself using “mistakes were made” phrasing when I know very well the mistakes were made by me. I’m still pretty quick to try to shift blame, CYA, etc. – and I don’t like when I do that. If I catch myself, I can usually talk myself into accepting responsibility, but overall… it’s pretty hit-or-miss.

Another issue is identifying how much is one’s own responsibility to fix and how to work cooperatively with other stakeholders. Our problems, both personally and professionally, often involve interdependent relationships, and the solution isn’t just taking it all on yourself. This point is probably why the goal is corporate culture change, since our individual attempts at accountability can only go so far if the other people involved aren’t also being accountable.

I’ve seen a lot of corporate initiatives come and go, but I’m not a cynic and I admire optimism. I suppose I’m cautiously hopeful.

I was going to write an essay about the value of cliches, inspired by a conversation with a friend/colleague, but our van (that has cost us thousands of dollars in repairs over the last several months) has started shaking when I try to accelerate. Now I’m too frustrated to write on my pet topic.

(But cliches are artifacts or fossils, or perhaps a zip file. The aphorism that “cliches stop thought” is itself a cliche, and a categorical statement at that. So there 😋)

I spend too much time reading on reddit. For reals. I need to institute some regulations to, um, regulate… my, um, like… stuff.

Rule 3a(ii)

No reading reddit at home after work.

(I know I’ve made rules before that I don’t want to overwrite, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have a 3a(ii) already. Now that this rule has an official number, category, and subsection, it can magically enforce itself and I never need to worry about it again. ‘Cause that’s how rules work.)

This isn’t the day

I get it together

This isn’t the day

I let go the weather

This isn’t the day

I step toward my dreams

This isn’t the day

I play out my schemes

This isn’t the day

I act like a grown-up

This isn’t the day

I do any follow-up

This isn’t the day

I take care of my loved ones

This isn’t the day

For my kindest expressions

This isn’t the day

Of opportunity unfettered

This isn’t the day

But tomorrow will be better

And since I’m not leaving, how can I help make those wishes come true?

I’m reading The Power of Habit, and my intent is to put the information to the test by creating or transforming a habit (first one, and then a bunch if it works). I’m working on list of habits – old habits to get rid of (bad) and new habits to start (good). I suppose it’s not necessary to phrase it in such moralistic terms, but it seems to fit.

This cold is starting to ramp up.

I am a collector of questions and ideas to think about – but rarely get back to.

I’ve noticed that some of my posts are tending to the negative side. I think it’s okay – I probably need a place to hash those kinds of things out – but I don’t think they represent me very well. It’s more a way to put those “arguments” in words so I can refute them. Perhaps I would feel better about them if I included the refutation.